The holidays are often a flurry of activity – a blinding rush of jolly festivities coming at you in a tornado of wrapping paper, Amazon boxes, ugly sweaters, Christmas cards and trying to remember to hold on to each moment. As many a mom have shouted through their best gritted teeth smiles, “Remember, we’re making memooooooriieeees!”
And yet, if we don’t intentionally pause, it will all fly by us before we realize what’s hit us. This is why my family has a tradition of going to the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service every year. It’s the one moment in the holidays where I feel I can breathe and really remember the reason for the holidays, celebrating the birth of Jesus.
This year was especially stressful, after our family was coming off of a particularly difficult year of losses. Jobs ✅ Loved Ones ✅ No area has seemed off limits this year. Feeling all those emotions reeling, meanwhile trying to put my heart into the season was really overwhelming.
For some reason this year, our church had put out the “safety candles” – fake plastic candle shaped flashlights with a nice LED flameless glow, perfect for any parent with inquisitive (and completely unaware) kids.
At first my 6 year old daughter loved her safety candle, thrusting it up like a glowing torch of “Amen!” every time our pastor made a good point. I honestly didn’t know my reflexes still moved that fast, and yet I think I managed to save face every time, my mom glare glowing more brightly with each beacon from my daughter to the congregation.
Then, time came for us to light the candles. Here was the moment my sweet girl had been waiting for – she could finally, FINALLY click on her candle without fear of the mom glare. She flicked that bad boy on and in perfect Statue of Liberty prose, held her candle high.
Within seconds though, she had looked around and to my surprise, she was carelessly chucking her safety candle aside and reaching for the warm glow of an actual candle (with appropriate wax guard of course. We aren’t crazy here…) I watched as her face suddenly grew perfectly still, wrapped in the warm glow of her tiny candle, singing softly to the carols from the band.
I crouched next to her and asked “Baby, don’t you want your other candle?” And in perfect 6 year old theology, she replied, “no mama – that one was nice, but this one feels real.”
Cue the God moment. It hit me – how often have we paraded the “popular and safe” version of Jesus, and yet, something is missing. It has a light, it’s candle shaped, but that’s about it. There’s nothing real about it. A perfectly poised Jesus mask, with just the right measure of light, acceptable to society.
But that candle? It can cause feeling. It can bring warmth. It can start a fire. The good light it brings can actually be shared in relationships; connecting with those around you and seeing the light grow. Before you know it, the light – and it’s warmth – have filled the room.
Is it safe? As the writer C.S. Lewis once shared of Aslan, by way of Mr. Beaver, “Safe? Of course he isn’t safe! But he is good!”
In one moment, my daughter unknowingly schooled her mama in faith. Sometimes while taking the safety candle is safe, the only way we can truly experience the reality and depth of a relationship with Christ is by reaching for the warm glow of the true light – and speaking that light into the lives of others by our love and relationships.
The Glorious Mess 