Retreat…
By definition, the word itself means : “an act of moving back or withdrawing”. When we think back on the word retreat, throughout history, usually the first thing we associate with retreat is cowardice, am I right? Let me take you back for a moment or two…
When I tell you that I love history, I truly mean I LOVE history…I’m totally one of those “lover of useless facts throughout time” kind of people. Loved it so much, I actually minored in History for my undergrad work…what I’m doing with it, I have yet to figure it out… Maybe it just makes me a better storyteller…
In college, I had the opportunity to “sit at the feet” of some of the greatest storytelling historians I’ve ever known. One professor in particular, a fine southern gentleman known as Dr. Damron, had this ability to close the door to his class and begin to lecture in such a way that you would feel transported…you lean in and listen, instantly feeling you should have a glass of the finest Sweet Tea – the “house wine of the south” – and a rocking chair on his front porch. I could listen to him talk for hours… From his stories about Napoleon, whose, in Dr. Damron’s definition, “butter done slipped right off his bread…” to the great Civil War… every story came to life and held not just fact, but profound meaning. One thing I learned from Dr. Damron in particular was the Beautiful Art of Retreat…
While many in today’s culture view the act of retreat as a cowardly running away or denial, what they fail to see it as is a strategic move. Many lives were spared, many battles won, because great leaders acting with humility had the good sense to look at the battle ahead and know they couldn’t do it alone and in whatever current state they and their forces were in. For the good of the battle now and in the overall war to come, retreat, regroup and fight another day. Those who blindly pushed forward, spurned on by ridiculous pride, often met a painful, embarrassing and often avoidable defeat. Had they taken the time to step back, regroup, rest and refresh, they might have gotten enough of a glimpse of the big picture to see where they could have been successful.
This is a lesson that God has often been showing me in the midst of my own Glorious Mess lately. Where I once saw the act of retreat as a shame, I now see it as a strategic move.
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to get away to this incredible retreat at a lodge with several ladies in our church. All day at work on the day of the retreat, I was ridiculously giddy. I honestly hadn’t been this excited for a sleepover in years… ( let’s just call it what it is 🙂 ) And all day long on our Facebook page, it felt like the first day of school. Women expressing excitement, expressing fears, laughing together – the energy building up to the event was contagious and once we were all together in the lodge, the atmosphere did not disappoint.
One of the things that amazed me, is that there was such a diversity of women there. Older women, younger women, mothers, wives, singles, daughters… each of us in a place of life where “Retreat” just sounded like a really amazing idea. Every encounter I had was so different and so special. I had coffee on a patio with a sweet woman who was 83 years young… I met another woman who had lead and pastored women for years, even as she was enduring a painful divorce…I engaged with another group of women, just over how we are “the okayest moms ever” – our kids may not eat the hormone free, cage free, free roaming fruit snacks, but we’re cool with that!
We couldn’t see it at the time, but through the speakers and worship, the conversations and activities, the laughter and the crazy times, we were learning that each of us is in a different season of life – the season where God is shaping us, molding us, using us, or just preparing us and making us stronger to bear the weight of the season to come. These beautiful things I would have never seen if I hadn’t taken the time to just…
RETREAT…
If you’ve been keeping up with the blog -and I hope you will! – you may know the trials my family has endured this summer with my dad and his accident. This accident has left him incapable of caring for himself and for whatever reason, his caretakers decided it was ok for him to come home for care now. My mom had plans to set my sister in place, but she couldn’t get here in time, so last week, my husband stepped up in a big way.
On our anniversary, instead of a romantic dinner and date night, my sweet husband spent days taking care of my dad. Physically grueling work, lifting him, helping him eat, drink, dress, change, and a host of other tasks will not be mentioned, but that are just living examples of the incredible servants heart he possesses. It was in the midst of these moments that he realized he was overwhelmed between some things at home needing his attention and needing to be there for Dad… For one of the first times in his life he acknowledged he needed to wave his own white flag… he needed to surrender… he needed to…
RETREAT
He reached out to his network of guys here locally and just asked for ideas…within minutes, he had guys setting up plans to bring our family dinner {literally, you guys, the BEST mac n cheese i have ever eaten… I straight up just ate some of it cold for breakfast today… no shame} His friends were instantly on board, helping him review the big picture, what he could do, what they could do and before He knew it, Saturday morning, a team of them were at our house being the hands and feet {and lawnmowers} of Jesus. We are so humbled and so blessed, but our friends would never have known the need if we hadn’t stopped to surrender and
RETREAT.
This may just be me, but sometimes I think the Father has so much He wants to do for us and through those in our lives, but we have to humble ourselves to the point of retreat to allow those words of love, those hugs, those hands and feet to come along side us and guide us through. When we are blindly pushing through and doing it all ourselves, not only are we exhausting ourselves -and probably our spouses and children- but we are also missing out on the support of those who love us, who just need to see our white flag of surrender.
I remember, as a new mom, when my husband and I first brought our son home. I was so fiercely independent. I was going to be SO GOOD at this and I was going to do this myself! I didn’t need help from anyone besides my husband. We had this {in all of our never having been parents – 25 year olds – WTH is a nursing hold?! – wisdom } … And as my son screamed and bellowed and clusterfed that first night, my mom held to my wishes and sat up most of the night, just being available with a smile and hug… Finally around 5 am, in a moment I’ll never forget, she knocked on the door to our bedroom and asked if she could take the baby, just for a few moments, to allow my husband and I to rest. I looked her deadpan in the face and literally waved an imaginary white flag, with a smile and slap happy giggle spreading across my tear-streaked, exhausted face… and then I curled up with my husband for the most blissful 3 hours of sleep, I think we have ever shared…and let me tell you, when we woke up, the clarity we had was unreal! A blissful retreat we would not have experienced, had we never
SURRENDERED…
You see, sweet friends, in the midst of this Glorious Mess, RETREAT and SURRENDER go hand in hand. We retreat from the mess, we surrender to the fact we cannot do this alone, and we regroup our resources to create the strategy that does work. Maybe its within our power; maybe we have to wave the white flag to bring in reinforcements. Maybe we need to leave the noise long enough to listen to the still, small voice of the Heavenly Father, who is there with us in every step. Without surrender, even in the smallest form, there is no retreat. Without retreat, there is no rest…and without rest, we doom ourselves and set even our best laid plans up for failure.
How can you retreat today? What do you need to regroup on? What can you do to wave your own white flag and bring in the reinforcements?
Whatever you need to do, whether it’s getting away with your best girls to a beautiful lodge in the woods or its an hour with you and a Pumpkin Spice Latte {basic, I know, but I love them!} and some quiet time… surrender, retreat and strategize…Your Heavenly Father is your greatest ally and He longs to help you work through this.
The Glorious Mess 